Then surround yourself with people who are dedicated to helping you overcome your obstacle.
These are Barbara Sher’s ideas. She says that, as humans, we are problem solvers. Even if we don’t like a person, should they pose a desire and an obstacle, we look for a solution to the obstacle. Isolation is the dream killer.
So.
Reach out to share your wish and obstacle.
Do I agree with everything she teaches? Not fully. But it is interesting. And I do agree that being isolated doesn’t help overcome an obstacle.
Her stories are humorous and wonderful! Below you can watch a TEDx video of Barbara telling some of those stories. It’s an encouraging way to spend 20 minutes of your life. It’ll make you smile at the very least. (She’s an excellent story-teller.)
What’s your wish? What’s your obstacle?
Leave a comment – let’s see if we can help each other!
If you can’t see the video player below – go ahead & click HERE to go to YouTube to watch the video of Barbara Sher talk about how isolation is the dream-killer and you need to reach out and share!
Want more about achieving goals? Read THIS or explore this POST.
It’s time to stop thinking you can not – and step up.
Move on. Reach out. Push forward. Lean into…
You are capable of so much!
Set your achievable goal. Make a plan. Now go do it.
And don’t discount a small goal. They count. Even if it’s a small goal, you’ll feel so much better about everything in your world when you reach it. And then you’ll be ready for the next small goal.
Set yourself up for success. Choose something to pursue that will be easy to reach – at least in the beginning. And if you have a large goal in mind, then divide it into smaller bits and pieces.
Want more business? Call one person and demonstrate you care about their needs. Keep track of your calls every day in a bullet journal. Lori Winslow, owner of The Organized Solopreneur has a course to get you started with Bullet Journaling. (I’ve purchased it and am going through it as part of my fall 2018 business learning.)
Do you need to move your body? Find one short exercise video on YouTube and move along with it. Now. (I like this one.)
Need to clean up? Gather all the garbage you can find and take it out. It’ll feel good. Subscribe to The Flylady. She provides a great framework to make cleaning and organizing easy.
Seeking a better relationship with someone? If you see them every day – smile at them. Or use these 10 ideas to celebrate as ways to connect.
Building a career? Get a library card and start reading. It’s free. Most libraries even provide access to digital books so you can read on an app on your smartphone. Ask someone with the career you want, to recommend a book. or a podcast, or a website they admire. Start a journal (or a bullet journal) to keep track of all you’re learning and want to learn.
Then you’ll finally notice that positive change you’re seeking!
You’ll be the one taking action to make it happen. Instead of waiting.
(For me – writing a little bit every day for 30 days on living thankful and positive really adds up and hopefully, I can encourage many to be a bit more positive.)
But what if this time is a time of waiting? Even in a time of waiting you can read, ponder, and pray. Those are actions, you know.
Where in your life could you make one small change?
Begin with positive thoughts and there’s a good chance you’ll “feel” better! Since you have control over both your thoughts and feelings, maybe try an experiment.
Want to feel better? Begin with positive thoughts!
Hurricane gust. Gentle breeze. How do you “feel”? Our feelings often shift according to the emotional “winds” in our life. Take control.
What if we first use our thoughts to frame and process our feelings?
Thoughts have great power and we’re the only ones who control them. Could we “feel” better by first inputting a positive thought?
(I think we could.)
To begin with positive thoughts, try these:
My world is filled with possibilities because I’m unique.
I’m thankful for _________, _________, _________.
Today will be a good day because I’m loved and respected.
I’m capable of so much. I just need to do it.
Every challenge today will help me grow.
I can make a difference in life just by smiling at others.
In every situation, there’s something to learn.
A person who can do “that” (something you’ve achieved) can handle today’s stuff.
What positive thoughts do you begin with to “feel” better?
Have you ever experienced this? Leave a comment – share your positive thought!
Want to see positive thoughts every day? Download and make a Positivity Garland!
Or meditate on this Scripture verse – write it out in your journal and respond to each of the eight points, one per day: What’s true in my life right now? What’s lovely in my life right now? etc.
… whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phillipians 4:8
Have you ever noticed that when you sit with a wise person, they also seem to possess an immense amount of patience? They rarely seem to be in a hurry.
This is not because they no longer have any problems. Quite the contrary.
Their patience comes with the wisdom to know when they should wait and when they should act. Wise people also never forget the power of prayer.
Bonus: a great way to develop patience is to seek wisdom.
A few ideas on how to grow wisdom and patience:
The wisdom of Proverbs over time: For a few years, while we were traveling full time, Rob read and re-read and read over and over again (more than 9 times) the book of Proverbs in the Bible. Most mornings we’d chat about his insights. He recommends the pondering of Proverbs as a way to grow in wisdom… and pondering is an exercise in patience, as much as Proverbs is a gathering of wisdom.
Reflective Thought: Wisdom isn’t about age or experiences. Simply living a long time, or having many experiences won’t necessarily equal wisdom. It’s the patient thought and reflection that may begin the process toward wisdom.
Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.
– John Maxwell
Read this post if you’re needing patience in a relationship. And this post if you’re needing more ways to gather wisdom to get stuff right.
Look to the future. Sure, you can learn from the past, but stop making the past your focus. It’s the future that holds promise!
“Instead of looking at the past,
I put myself ahead twenty years
and try to look at what I need to do now
in order to get there then.”
~ Diana Ross
Diana Ross is an American singer, songwriter, actress, and record producer. Her career began in 1959 with the Supremes, and she’s been going strong ever since. I’m guessing her view of looking 20 years into the future and doing what it will require has served her well!
Look to the future.
What’s life going to be like in 20 years for you? Nobody has a crystal ball to see the future, but you can look at where you’d like to be…
Where to start this looking into the future?
Just for fun, create three “20-things” lists as you look to the future:
be – 20 qualities you’d like to add/enhance in your character
do – 20 activities you’d like to try or get better at
have – 20 physical things you’d like to own (for a bit, anyhow)
I created three worksheets to do this exercise!
Now – what could you do today to make it possible for you to experience something on this list?
Yes, I’ve done this to inspire me about my future. I’ve made lists with 30 things on them – because I find that if I keep on going and force myself to keep adding to the lists, after the first obvious items, then I get deeper into what I really value.
One of the items on my “do” list is to experience a River Cruise with Rob. That’s not in the budget right now, but if I save my pennies in the next 20 years… I’ve told Rob that I’m going to get a large jar and put a photo of a cruise boat on a river on that jar, and we can add a dollar or two to give us a start. Another item on the “be” list is to be a better writer. I’m struggling with passive voice in my writing, so the next year will hold some grammar courses!
What’s on your lists for the future?
What one thing is on one of your lists (be-do-have) that you’d begin saving for today?
Complete the worksheets and leave a comment!
(keep scrolling to find out how to download the worksheets)
Need some encouragement about the future?Read this!
Character = Who we are when no one is watching. Hopefully it’s good character!
“Good character is not formed in a week or a month.
It is created little by little, day by day.”
~ Heraclitus
Social and News media is filled with scathing reports detailing the faults of individuals in all walks of life. No person is born with all these character deficits. Negative character qualities develop one at a time, day by day, just like as good qualities.
Do you relate? I’m sure you have a few character qualities you’d like people to overlook, just as I do… right? However, with this attitude, we might be adding to the problem, rather than improving it. Chicken or egg?
Is this good character just supposed to show up…?
If we are the only ones who can change ourselves, how much time and effort do we put into developing our own good character? And by acting and reacting, demonstrating a good character, how could we impact the world around us for good?
Developing Good Character
Perhaps I’m going out on a limb here – assuming the development of good character is important to you… <grin>
Parents care about the character of their children – but where do children first see examples of how to be? From their parents and caregivers, of course.
Perhaps it’s in our best interest to care about developing our own good character if we are invested in how the world around us behaves, rather than merely joining in on the criticism-fest.
Easier said than done? Maybe. Maybe not!
7 ways we could focus on developing good character:
PEOPLE: surrounding ourselves with people who demonstrate good character – it’s said we are the sum of those we spend time with.
READING: reading to develop our character – our brain needs sustenance, what are we feeding it?
WATCHING: being discerning in what we watch – oh, yes. TV – Movies – YouTube – streaming <sigh>
BOUNDARIES: setting boundaries in our life to manage areas where our character might be tempted or swayed. We are all susceptible.
DECISIONS: making decisions with deliberate care and consideration, not on a whim or in the middle of intense emotion.
HABITS: designing our habits to support our good character development. Habits. It’s the small things that make up the great things.
GREATER THAN OURSELF: following a higher ideal. The belief and adherence to something greater than our self will make a difference even when we fail. Rob and I are Christ followers and often speak of the Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) as a barometer of our character.
Have I overlooked something? Would you add anything to this list? (Leave a comment to share, please! What has worked for you when you’ve been focused on character development?)
When we homeschooled our children we used “The Book of Virtues” by William J. Bennett.
This book is a collection of stories and fables on virtues – character qualities. These moral stories provided the opportunity to ask questions and discuss ideas in areas like friendship, courage, honesty, compassion, and responsibility. Rob and I found some of the stories quite challenging and personally convicting. I’m looking forward to getting that book out of storage!
Another book I’ve been researching is called “What Do You Stand For? For Teens: A Guide to Building Character”. It has a teen version and a child version, along with the option of a game. If you don’t have teens in your home right now, the lists and questionnaires would still be good exercises to go through as an adult. What we need to learn isn’t defined by age.
And finally, here’s a one-page checklist to download as a reminder to focus on your character – it’s the above 7 points as questions to ask yourself. Post it on your bathroom mirror for a bit, and see if it sparks something positive. No email needed, click HERE to download.
Have your children been introduced to character building resources in school? Perhaps you’re a teacher… do you have any recommendations? Please leave a comment!
“Men of character are the conscience of the society to which they belong.”
Today Is My Everything. (Notice the first letter in each word of that sentence creates an acronym.) Use TIME wisely today to make an impact on all your tomorrows.
We can’t change the past. Though we can prepare for the future, today is the only resource we have. 24 hours, 1440 minutes.
One moment after another and the day passes.
Are you pursuing a goal? Think you don’t have enough time to make it work?
Chances are you have a few extra moments to create a small dent in that goal. Close the Facebook App, turn off the TV, and if you’re like me, put down the book and/or Kindle.
What one thing will you do today to move forward on that goal?
I’m writing this post because my focus is to be positive and to encourage others. In the month of July, my goal is to write 31 positive articles. It’s a part of the #blogboost initiative, which is a way to keep myself accountable. Last month I decided I’d avoid eating sugar. (That went quite well, by-the-way! I’ve decided to carry on in this month!)
A few months ago I was exploring the idea of challenging myself and downloaded a Kindle Unlimited book called, “The 30 Day Challenge Book: 500 Ideas to Inspire Your Life” by Clare Hudson. Just like everyone else, there are things in my life that need to change. So I picked out a few challenges that I’ll do for a month to motivate myself. For me, doing a shorter-term challenge to change behavior, works!
What about you? Have you challenged yourself to something? Are you reaching for a long-term goal? How do you reach that goal?
Have you decided?
If your TIME today will bring you closer to your goal, then what one thing (or more than one) will you do today?
Leave a comment!
“TIME = Today Is My Everything”
~ Richie Norton quote
Here’s the book I referenced, and it’s free if you have Kindle Unlimited.
Kindle Unlimited is reading option with a fixed price per month and thousands of books to borrow. If you are curious, like to learn/read and own a device that supports the Kindle app,(or you own a Kindle), then this might be a good choice for you. It’s free for the first 30 days. Kindle Unlimited Membership Plans
Stop the cycle and overcome analysis paralysis. Choose and move forward.
Rob and I took six months – 182 days – to choose our first new couch. (“Chesterfield” if you’re in Canada.) We analyzed everything about each couch we saw. We went back to stores to look at the same couch many more than a few times, I’m embarrassed to say.
In the end, our choice was good. It wasn’t perfect, but it was good… enough. The downside? We missed out on having a new couch for more months than was necessary. We bought our second new couch, a loveseat, in an afternoon.
Most times the decisions you need to make aren’t the last nail in your coffin. If you find yourself going ’round and ’round (and ’round again) … STOP! You’ve got analysis paralysis.
Perfect isn’t necessary. (Except in brain surgery, I guess. <grin>)
Go for good and move on.
Make the decision!
If you’re finding it hard to move out of the cycle of analysis paralysis, here are 10 thoughts to spark some movement.
Overcome Analysis Paralysis
10 things to remind yourself for an antidote to analysis paralysis:
Everyone makes mistakes. It’s not the mistake that impedes long-term progress, rather, it’s not moving past a mistake that’s the real killer of dreams. If you make a mistake, you can pick yourself up and keep on going. Read this on getting back up again.
You know the outcome you want. If your decision sends you off-course, you’ll know. And you’ll be able to make a different decision to get yourself back on course.
You can eliminate the bad options for a shorter list. Make a list. Cross off the options that probably won’t work – be brutal. With a shorter list, it’ll be easier to decide. Studies have shown that consumers make a decision much more quickly when given fewer options.
Is what you believe… true? Are you trying to make a decision based on emotion or fact? Our emotions can lead us in circles. Include a trusted advisor in your process to help you identify the truth. (And to point out where your emotions are leading you astray.)
Opinions don’t need to impact your self-worth. You’ve read the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”, haven’t you? It’s true. I once responded to a criticism of a decision by saying, “Fortunately, my sense of self-worth isn’t dependent on your opinion.” (I’m not usually so candid – I shocked myself.) However, this statement improved our relationship so much that this person is now just a little bit friendly when we meet. Astonishing.
Deadlines are your friend. Set a deadline to make your decision. Keep it.
Fear is your enemy. -> False Evidence Appearing Real -> Fear lies to you. See #4.
You can pray about this. So often we forget to pray about these decisions… Release your concerns to the God who created everything, and knows everything. He cares about even the tiny stuff. (Perhaps because it’s all tiny to Him?)
All big things are done in small steps. If the decision seems too big, then chunk it down. Choose the right size decision for this point in time. Go with it.
I imagine this will not be the last decision you make in life. You’ll feel empowered when you finally decide.
One step in the right direction – today. It’s further than you were yesterday.
Got a goal on the horizon? What’s one task, idea, activity or step you can take in the right direction toward that goal? Now’s the time – be further along tomorrow by taking that one step today!
Herculean Task?
Got a huge goal? Chunk it down.
write one page
pull one weed
do one load
make one call
clear one surface
make one
toss out one
give away one
do for one what you’d like to do for everyone
One.
It’s a small number that makes a big difference if done every day!
Celebrate rising again as much as reaching the finish line.
Life holds many disappointments. Sometimes even failure. Few walk through their life without being touched by that sour twisting of loss, and being thrown down by circumstances… but then they get back up.
They rise again. And again.
“If you have made mistakes, even serious mistakes, you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down.”
Getting back up needs to be noticed – it needs some celebration.
Are you standing up again… yet again? Or it might not be you, but maybe someone you love is rising again.
Celebrate!
Rise again and gather those you love around to celebrate with you! Rising again may be even more important than reaching a finish line…
There’s a song by a Canadian folk-singer, Stan Rogers, that Rob and I love – it’s about a ship and maritime fishermen … however, the last stanza seems appropriate for this post.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow With smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go Turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain And like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again.
Rise again! Rise again! Though your heart it be broken and life about to end No matter what you’ve lost, be it a home, a love, a friend Like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again.
Rise again… rise again…
~ last stanzas of Stan Roger’s song “The Mary Ellen Carter”
Stan Rogers – Canadian folk-singer 1949 – 1983
Enjoy the YouTube video below (click HERE if you can’t see the player.)
This is a section from a film on Stan Rogers where a fellow recounts being shipwrecked in a wicked storm, and how the song made the difference between him giving up or hanging on until the Coast Guard arrived to rescue him.
Then you’ll see Stan Rogers sing the song, “The Mary Ellen Carter” in concert at minute 1:40.
Accountability starts with you when reaching for a goal.
There’s great value in being held accountable, even if it’s only an informal accountability.
accountability keeps you engaged and on course
accountability validates and challenges your thinking
accountability makes it easier to measure your progress
Writing on a topic has held me accountable. If I’m writing about a topic, it feels disingenuous if I don’t follow through.
Many times I’ve written about something in marriage on EncourageYourSpouse, and realized I’d better “up my game” in that area! It’s humbling. The good part? Our 34-year marriage, by God’s grace, has benefited! Writing a post here on PositiveThanksLiving holds me accountable – it’s not a formal accountability, because you’ll never know if I follow through… but still, there’s a definite nagging feeling if I’m not practicing what I write about. Yes, accountability starts with me and, I suppose, ends with me.
What if writing isn’t your schtick? What else could you do to tap into the strength of accountability?
How could you hold yourself accountable?
The most obvious way to be held accountable is to tell someone your goal and ask that person to check in with you on how you’re doing.
Prayer is a powerful way to be held accountable. Ask someone to pray over your goal – and to pray with you for your goal.
Or you could be proactive and learn something new about your goal every day or week – educate yourself to practice accountability.
Create a specific statement describing what you’re reaching for and post it where you’ll see it often, and perhaps read it aloud every morning or evening.
Make a date with yourself to pursue that goal. Block off time on the calendar that’s unavoidable. Add buffer time into your calendar to make sure you can achieve what you’re working toward.
Give yourself milestone rewards. Rewards along the way can be a powerful way to celebrate being held accountable.
Record your progress, even if it’s crossing off each day on a calendar or filling in a little square on a numbered sheet.
Ask for advice or feedback regularly from those you trust. They don’t need to know what you’re reaching for, but their input could be what inspires you to keep going.
All of these ideas require you to start. Because…
Accountability starts with you.
What are you reaching for – how will you hold yourself accountable?
What would you add to the list – have I missed a way that’s worked for you? Please comment – you’ll be helping all of us in the accountability area. <grin>
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When we homeschooled our children we used “
Another book I’ve been researching is called “
